One of my favorite video games growing up (read: One that stole a ton of hours from my childhood) was Metroid. A few days ago, I had the pleasure of playing it again after many years.
The main character, Samus, is a bounty hunter assigned to eliminate the army of Space Pirates who are attacking a planet. Your classic run-and-gun game.
Along the way, she earns quite a few power ups, including high jump boots, an ice beam, and even an item which transforms her into a ball! (as seen in the screenshot below.)
As I was playing along gaining these power ups, my coach mind kicked in and I started to notice something:
When Samus gets her power ups, she becomes stronger….a more capable character. But do these power ups change who she is, fundamentally? Of course not! Samus is still the same Space Pirate hunting badass…. only amplified.
One of the main fears people have before signing up for dating coaching is that their coach will try to transform their personality and character into something they aren’t, or worse, don’t want to be.
But that’s not what good coaching is about.
Good coaching starts with the foundation that who you are at the core is awesome, and the growth comes form adding skills and abilities that will only enhance the type of person you already are… like Samus adding on her power ups.
This is done in order to attract the RIGHT type of person for you.
Good coaching doesn’t try to change a Samus into a Mario.
It simply upgrades a Samus into their most powerful version.
When you can commit to stepping into the potential discomfort of powering yourself-up, then it won’t be long until much better results follow.