We see this all the time.

 

 

Dating experts on YouTube, Facebook, etc., making big promises, that by using their secret-sauce pickup line, or by some magical body language trick, that literally anybody; from the cute-yet-nerdy librarian, to the Victoria’s Secret model…. from the software designer with the dad bod, to the jacked, veiny professional athlete, will immediately fall into your lap begging to be with you.

The problem is that it’s all bullshit.

There are simply too many variables to an individual person, to a community, and to the population at large that need to be considered. Different people are going to react to different characteristics differently. In many ways, there’s a bit of an element of randomness to it.

You can minimize that randomness by putting forward the best, most attractive version of yourself (according to your specifications), but even then, that will only lessen the randomness, not eliminate it outright.

Not to mention that there are too may variables within YOU that need to be considered.

Also, people aren’t stupid. Many of them have seen this fake, try-hard stuff countless times, and can see it coming a mile away.

The unsexy truth is that if you want to improve your dating life….it’s going to take work, patience, diligence, and yes, even some embarrassing setbacks. That’s life.

There’s no big secret. No instant tricks.

It’s going to require stepping out of yourself and taking a larger and longer term view of things.

It will require introspection accompanied by a healthy dose of self-reflection, not all of it positive.

Even when you are at your best….you will be adored by some,  outright disliked by others, and viewed neutrally by others still….

Just as it is with everyone else (even the now semi-mythical “Brad Pitt” or “Pam Anderson.”)

But, you’ll have a much better idea of who those adoring ones are…and how to attract them.

If you are ready to put in the work, and understand that relationships are rarely governed by strict black and white “rules,” but instead are a random and sometimes illogical shade of grey, then you’re well on your way already.

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