On my Facebook group “No Games Necessary” a while back, I asked a question about what was the #1 characteristic guys were looking for in a woman.
A good number of them said “She’s gotta be hot” or some variation of that.
Of course it’s understandable to say this, we all want to be attracted to our partner..but could this be hurting us unknowingly?
When we become fixated solely on looks, it can get to a point where we view these women as a kind of prize or trophy.
This can leave guys up shit’s creek, and not just due to the obvious fact that we are placing an enormously high value on a complete stranger we know nothing about.
It can also trap your mindset in a sort of catch-22.
On the one hand, we want to find someone high value, or “out of our league” to give validation to ourselves.
“Look at me! I’ve got this fucking hot dimepiece absolutely hanging off me, I must be the fucking MAN!”
On the other hand, precisely because we place such a high value on “stunners,” we can become so intimidated, that we will never risk being rejected by them, for fear of what that will do to us or our ego.
This can then lead us to subconsciously push away ideal women, because we are more concerned about protecting our ego than finding a person who actually fits us.
When relationships are built off of validation, they don’t last. Because the people who build them are usually not concerning themselves with the things that make relationships last.
This is NOT to say we shouldn’t value the physical attractiveness of our partner…of course we should.
But looks without a character or values match more often than not ends up costing us.