Growing up, we’ve been fed an endless amount of stories about how, if we wait long enough, we will eventually run in to that ONE perfect person who is a 100% match for us.
It sounds very sweet and romantic…..but in actuality, using this idea to guide your way in your romantic life can be dangerous if we’re not careful.
Let’s break this idea down:
There are nearly 8 billion people on the planet, half of whom are of the opposite sex. The idea that…out of all these people, there’s only ONE who will be an ideal match for you is a bit far-fetched.
More likely, there are MANY ideal people out there for you. You just need to know where to find them!
So why is this idea of the “The One” dangerous?
1) IT STOPS YOU FROM TAKING ACTION…..
By believing that there is only ONE person who is right for you, you might think that you are looking for a needle in a haystack, and you may give up looking…..not knowing that there are many compatible people out there, some of whom may even be right down the road.
Conversely, you may think that “fate” or “destiny” will simply drop your soulmate in your lap, and you may avoid taking action as a result because doing so will “interfere” with fate.
2) IT CREATES A SCARCITY MENTALITY….
When you believe that there is only ONE perfect person for you, you are more likely to act out of a place of scarcity. You will unnecessarily put more stock into a particular date or outcome than you should…and that can lead to unfavorable consequences.
3) IT MAKES YOU NEEDY…
When you meet someone you like, you are more likely to overextend yourself and try harder to please them than you should, because you don’t want to “lose” them. The dynamic of the relationship will end up being much more tense, stressful, and awkward than it needs to be.
Remember…..dating should be fun.
Conversely, when you feel that there are many potential matches out there, you are more relaxed, confident and self assured, which comes across as way more attractive.
If you are somebody who believes in only ONE perfect person, how is that belief serving you right now? Do you think you would benefit more from believing that there are many, instead of one (or none)?
Because if we do the math, the numbers appear to indicate so.